MARIAH, age 17, author of The Suicide List
MR. NOSE,* Mariah's school counselor
*name has been changed to protect the person's identity
(Scene opens on January 27, 2009. MARIAH and MR. NOSE are sitting in Mr. Nose's tiny, cluttered office. MR. NOSE looks a little flustered, and MARIAH is slouched down in her chair.)
MR. NOSE: But, doesn't it bother you that you don't know where you'll be in two years?
MARIAH: Not really. I had no idea I'd be here two years ago. Besides, I'm working on it.
MR. NOSE: (sighs) There's a lot you should've done to prevent this, Mariah. You could've attended 4-year class planning sessions freshmen year. You should have had a university and major chosen by last year. I know you were fully capable of passing those classes as well.
MARIAH: That's all in the past. And, if I should've had all this figured out three years ago, then why do such a large portion of students change majors?
MR. NOSE: (ignores her question) That it's now in the past makes no difference. You still didn't do those things.
MARIAH: (rolls eyes) Do you have a time machine I can borrow, then?
MR. NOSE: I'd think you are old enough to know that the world doesn't revolve around you.
MARIAH: Indeed, it doesn't. It revolves around the sun. And I am also old enough to realize that a person's success at life can't be measured purely by academic achievements.
MR. NOSE: (raises eyebrow) It can't?
MARIAH: You've obviously never spoken with the football players on this subject. Or teenagers in general, for that matter.
MR. NOSE: Are you trying to get sent to ISS?
MR. NOSE: Watch your mouth, young lady.
MARIAH: When you were in high school, did you want to be a high school counselor?
(MR. NOSE becomes very uncomfortable, and sends MARIAH to ISS. Scene closes)