The worst thing about depression is knowing that at one point, you were different than this. You know what's it's like to be excited and generally optimistic. You know that life for many people is, no matter how much they complain, better.
You know that you're depressed and that this is no way to live.
But the current is too strong to swim against even if you tried. You see life slip away and fade, leaving only memories of a time before the monster.
Soon, you don't see a reason to go back. We all know depression-free is more habitable, but why take back what you have lost, if you can even find it? And all that effort? Blech.
It is easier to simply float through existence, bleak and gloomy as it may be.
And then you begin to forget what it was like to not only cry, but to laugh. And that is when you have lost yourself in the folds of darkness.
Hey,thanks so much for your comment,its my first one! I am so going to follow your blog now.
ReplyDeleteI've been depressed since I was 7, so I can't really relate to this, although I suppose I'm less depressed at the moment than usual.
ReplyDeleteI thought that what you wrote here was so extremely insightful. I'm dealing with depression and it kills me to know that at one time it wasn't apart of my life. I miss living for the moment and I miss enjoying life.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say I understood and that I really enjoy your blog. Take care.
This post in particular helped me better understand my friend who is currently depressed. She's gone through bouts of it over the years, and while its hard to deal with at times, I'm glad she hasn't tried anything. And it does help me understand how she feels washed over by this all. Good luck to you. I hope things get better.
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