December 29, 2008

To Anonymous

I received a comment this morning on an old post buried way back in the archives. I'd like to answer some of the questions posed to me here.

Hey Mariah. I'm going off topic here. As a warning, I've read nothing of your
blog. Well, two posts. But really, nothing. I plan on asking a poorly worded
question, that has been asked many times before. It will be so poorly worded, it
will probably be at least a little offensive.

I know one of the two posts read, but I'm quite curious as to what the other one is. Either way, the first one wasn't exactly a prime sample of what is usually written about on this blog. Thanks for stating that you know the question is probably going to be offensive.

When do you plan on getting past this? Your side bar summery thingy says your
friend died two years ago and you're still searching for answers. Do you plan on
finding them? Two years is a lot of thinking... Will you find them within ten
years? It just seems like you're dwelling on it too much. Especially since you
made an entire blog on it. How can you get past something that you're constantly

If getting past depression was a choice, I'd choose leaving it in the dust in a second. Some things will never be answered, but I can try to find possible answers. If you read carefully, you will notice that these are questions I frequently pose to myself.

There is a reason a do not often write about the first year after Eva's suicide... Life generated more questions then.

Again, I do not consciously choose to think about depression and suicide- they are the unfortunate realities of my life. But there is much more in my life as well. I have many other interests (music, sci-fi, ethics, paleoanthropology, et al); I just don't write about them here. This blog is one-dimensional, and that's what I intend.

In these two years, I've decided that this "getting over" is a process, not an event. I document the process.

Offtopic from this offtopic post, Have you seen "The Bridge"? Since you like to
dwell on suicide, This is your kind of movie. It's a documentary about how the
Golden Gate Bridge is the most popular place to commit suicide. There are
interviews with the family, and actual footage of them going off. I'd really
look into it. There's no sarcasm here. It's famous enough to find online if you
can't find it in a store somewhere.

No, I have not watched it.

I repeat: I do not LIKE to dwell on suicide. Do you intentionally spend a lot of time thinking about whatever it is that bothers you (complaining teenagers on the Internet, etc.)?

I am not entirely sure what I would gain from watching this film. I am also not sure if you're suggesting that I would benefit from seeing that I am not the only one in turmoil, and after realizing this through a film would shut up.

I am fully aware.

And eeehm, on topic, I would think those people made up a minority.

Yeah. And so did the Nazis.


  1. You handled this really calmly and maturely, Mariah. You put people twenty years older than you to shame.

  2. Well put. I will say that the Nazi comparison is unwarranted, though. Worse than that, it's inaccurate. Even before the Ermächtigungsgesetz was passed, the Nazi Party had become the single largest presence in the Reichstag (with 43.9% of the votes in the 1933 election), and maintained a not insignificant level of popular support throughout the earlier years of the regime.
    I realise I'm labouring on an offhand comment here, but retreating to Godwin's Law seems neither calm nor mature to me. Granted, the commenter is an idiot, but (citing myself as Exhibit A) being an idiot doesn't make you a genocidal maniac, and maybe it's best to reserve that appelation for people who actually are, lest it lose its power.
    For what it's worth after that peculiarly autistic rant, I'm definitely hearing you on not being able to choose to not be focused on suicide, or depression, or mental-illness generally.

  3. Hey, Anon again. Can't prove I'm the same guy, but, Eh. Alright, so when I wrote that post it was 3am and I actually had to write it twice after accidentally wiping the entire thing out. So yeah, it came out horribly. I actually have to apologize for it. I'd point out at this time what I wanted to make clearer- but I'm not sure I even had a point. I was dedicated not to hit the backspace once when I made that, so after I typed something in there I'd think "You know that isn't true" and then "Moving on now!", so I wouldn't take anything in there seriously if you were already. (You cared enough to devote an entire blog entry to it...)

    Eh, the other post I read was more of a skimming of all February '08. I decided to call it one post. You didn't ask, but I got here through the List "Top 10 Depression Blogs of 2008" and I got to that list via stumbleupon.

    And the Bridge- I just tossed that in there as something you might like because it's about suicide and the blog you write is about suicide. I didn't really think of anything you would gain from it.

    I laughed when you compared the people who make demotivational posters to Nazis. They aren't that bad. You could argue that the posters kill people who are extremely easily influenced and depressed, but they aren't Nazis.

    Offtopic, I had a dream last night and I baked you cookies. After, we splashed a decaying baby around in a pool of it's own blood. I have no idea.

  4. Hi Mariah. I think you have stood up for yourself wel. You explained what you think, why you think it and what you are doing clearly. I wish i could explain myself half as well. I really like the two dimentional aspect of your blog, its very clear that other things happen in your life and that you have other interests, it makes this blog very clear as to what it is and what it is not. I agree that this is a process, there is no one day when you stop thinking about things, when you stop needing to try an answer questions. But that over time the amount of time you spend thinking about this type of thing falls. I hope that you had a good christmas and have a really good new year. Love Hannah X

  5. “And so did the Nazis.”
    Nice one.

    As to the comment by Alex:

    She did not claim those people are like the nazi’s: she just made the comparison (a valid one) to prove that a minority could still be harmful, even though the belief or ideology they propose is shared by a relatively small number of people. Even a very small group can have a big impact and/or cause lots of damage, just look at Al-Quada. On your historical note: while it is true a lot of people voted for the nazi-party (Hitler gained power in a perfectly democratic way) this doesn’t mean the majority of the population actually believed in and actively supported the ideology of Blutt-und-Boden, Lebensraum and anti-semitism, most just went along either because of fear or because they thought they had something to gain by it. Most Germans were not members of the nazi-party thus your claim (however implicite) that the nazi’s were not a minority is simply false. Even among those with a party-card the majority were not full-blooded nazi’s and anti-semites (those directly involved in the Holocaust and the exploitation of occupied countries) but mere hangers-on, Mariah’s rebuke is neither inaccurate nor an example of bad reasoning (e.g not an example of the argumentum-ad-Hitlerum) and witty to boot. Fight fire with fire, stupidity should not be tolerated nor condoned.