Can you miss people you've never met? And is it really right to miss people who you know will never return?
Sometimes I feel as if there's an immense, gaping, hole inside of me. It is not the hole left by Eva, no, that one is distinct. I feel as if there was something I should've done, someone I should've met, but now the opportunity has gone. I grope blindly at vapors of thought, trying to put my finger on who -or what - it is. Maybe it's that I think that I shouldn't still be suspended in this ever-present state of semi-darkness and should be out reclaiming my life.
I know it's completely normal for a person to miss someone close after they've died, or someone not so close, for that matter. After all, a large part of our lives previously consumed by that person is suddenly left stripped naked, freezing to death. But, I ask myself, if we know it's never going to change, why must we put up with ourselves like this? Evolution sure isn't all that brilliant sometimes. It's like a child who keeps wishing he could fly to Neverland.
Today is one of those days that I find myself missing so many people: Eva, myself, and that person I never met. The trinity of the lost.