August 18, 2008

The Woman She Dreamed To Be

I know Eva used to dream. She used to look forward to the future as much as, if not more than, any young teenager. She had a solid direction in life she was aiming for.

Eva wanted to go into interior design. She'd watch those home makeover shows whenever she had the chance, and always have a new idea for decorating her bedroom. Of the time I remember, she painted her walls five different colors: orange, lavender, bright green, turquoise, and yellowish green.

Of course, she'd only be an interior designer only if she had enough time away from her sports career. Eva was a great athlete (I never told her that I always thought I was better, ha ha), and hoped to play soccer or lacrosse in college.

Eva liked dogs. Since she was 5, she desperately wanted one as a pet. But her mother always said no, since she was allergic. For years she had to make do with playing with the canines she met at the city park. I don't remember what breed she said she'd get when she moved out- it might've been a Labrador.

Sometimes Eva would start to plan her wedding, even though she obviously had no idea who the groom would be. "It has to be outside," she'd say. "And in the springtime. And with lots of flowers." I thought she was very silly for planning so far ahead, especially as the idea of kissing a boy was only starting to become slightly less icky to me at this point. She was always on another planet compared to me about those things.

I guess at some point she stopped reaching for those goals. They must not have held much allure anymore.

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