I went to the movie theatre with friends last night... the first time in months. Actually, I can't recall the previous time, so it must've been longer than that.
Most people would be happy to know that I enjoyed myself. I found this terrifying.
Throughout this blog, I keep saying I want to act like a normal teenager; I want to be happy again. Then I go and be happy and I scare myself half to death.
I don't know how to respond; it's way too far out of my comfort zone. So is my new "normal" depressive? I guess so.
Which leads me to say that I can't return to what I call my "normal" moods and behaviors from before Eva's suicide.
And that is terrifying too, because I don't know where to go next.